Playing games is an important part of childhood. Whether it’s a board game at home or a team sport at school, games help children build friendships, practise taking turns and develop problem-solving skills.
But for some children, losing can feel overwhelming.
Big emotions like frustration, anger or sadness can come quickly. What might seem like “just a game” to others can feel deeply personal and unfair. Learning how to cope with losing is a skill — and like all skills, it can be taught and practised.
Why losing can feel so hard
For many children, games involve:
- Rules that must be followed
- Waiting for turns
- Unpredictable outcomes
- Competition
- Social expectations
For some children, unexpected outcomes or strong feelings about fairness can make losing feel intense. When emotions run high, it can be difficult to think clearly or respond calmly.
That’s why preparing children before emotions escalate is so important.
Teaching good sportsmanship in a clear, supportive way
Abstract ideas like “be a good sport” or “don’t be upset” can be hard for children to interpret — especially when they’re already feeling disappointed.
Clear, simple and visual supports often work best. That’s where Social Stories can be helpful.
Social Stories are short, structured stories that explain social situations in a calm, reassuring and predictable way. They help children understand:
- What is happening
- How they might feel
- What they can do
- Why the behaviour matters
A social story about winning and losing
This story gently walks children through the experience. The focus isn’t on ignoring feelings — it’s on recognising them and learning safe ways to manage them.
Practical strategies to support children when they lose
Alongside using the Social Story, here are some ways parents, carers and educators can help:
Prepare before the game
Remind children that games have two possible outcomes: winning and losing. Preview coping strategies before starting.
Practise the words
Role-play saying “Well done!” or “Good game!” so the phrase feels familiar and automatic.
Normalise big feelings
Validate emotions: “It’s okay to feel disappointed. That happens to everyone sometimes.”
Offer regulation tools
- Fidgets
- Movement breaks
- A drink of water
- A quiet space
Keep games short and structured
When building tolerance, choose quick games with clear endings.
Building lifelong skills
Learning to cope with losing is about more than games. It helps children develop:
- Emotional regulation
- Resilience
- Perspective-taking
- Social confidence
With the right support, children can learn that feeling upset doesn’t mean the game is ruined — and that being a good sport helps friendships grow.
Download the Social Story PDF
If you’d like support from allied health professionals such as
occupational therapists or
psychologists to help your child build emotional regulation skills, Karista can help you connect with the right clinicians based on your child’s needs and availability.
Because playing games should be fun — for everyone involved.